by Chelsea Kowalski
Why is writing so difficult? It should be the most natural thing; we come up with story after story as children and yet as an adult when you give yourself the label of “writer”, you start to feel like a fish on land.
It can’t be that we don’t have anything to say. Everybody has something to say, whether it’s a universal truth or a niche moment of self-honesty. Everybody’s life is filled with thousands and thousands of stories. And even if we say we write for ourselves, it’s still impossible to trick our brain into believing that no one will see it. Instinctively, we want what comes out to be as close to perfect as possible: brimming with talent, oozing with just the right level of detail, undeniably compelling. But that’s not how first drafts work. On some level, we know that and that’s exactly what stops us from getting a first draft on the page. We don’t want to see the original sometimes. We want to have the cake, eat it, and deny it was ever raw ingredients in the first place.
But sooner or later, pen goes to paper, and we find enough courage to face the fact that we might not achieve the final draft on the first try.
Writers in Trees (WiT) is starting our second anthology soon to be filled with short stories, poems, creative nonfiction, and anything else we can think of. Which means every writer in WiT is currently throwing eggs, flour, vanilla, and frosting into a bowl, tossing it straight into the oven, and hoping a cake comes out. It doesn’t matter how many stories you write, how many years it’s been, somehow the start always feels the same.
There are definitely writers out there who say that they write every day, block off the time, and don’t suffer from writer’s block. Maybe one day, we will all get there. But I think every writer writes differently. I think there’s something glorious about the process being tough. A difficult process doesn’t necessarily mean the writing that comes out of it will be better or more engaging or a bestseller. But for me, it does mean that it will feel true. When I write, I don’t always know who I’m writing for, but I know that they deserve to hear the truth—maybe it’s an old friend or a future one or myself. I just believe that writing is such a grounding experience, a sacred sort of ritual, and it deserves intention. That might not be the case for every writer and every piece of work out there, but when I find it difficult to write, it helps me reframe. It helps me switch perspectives from seeing obstacles to seeing meaning.
For me, writing does not start out solitary. Writing brings up feelings and emotions I don’t always want to manage in an empty room. I like knowing someone else is right there potentially writing as well. However, once I get into it, once I escape into a new world, then it all changes. Then I could be alone for hours, writing my heart’s content onto the page. I love creating a world inside of this one. I’m also not a huge fan of coffee shop writing as I get distracted easily. However, if I’m facing a block, I have to admit, there is nothing better than people watching.
And so, as I start to write my short story well behind schedule, I have nothing but the highest hopes for it. I hope it will be vibrant. I hope it will have a strong voice. I hope it will make someone else feel something. But I don’t have to hope that it will ring true—a process this tough leaves no other result. However, when I do baulk at failing to achieve a perfect draft, what keeps me writing is knowing that a half-baked cake is yummier than no cake at all.
Chelsea Kowalski is a reader, writer, and editor. She has edited both fiction and non-fiction pieces for magazines, novels, and published essays. Chelsea is an alumna from both the University of Toronto and Toronto Metropolitan University, completing programs in English, Creative Writing, and Publishing. She is passionate about all things literary (especially female-driven books) and loves interviewing new authors about their unique stories. Chelsea is happiest when given the chance to write, edit, and help support someone’s dream of reaching readers.
The views and opinions expressed in blog posts are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of all WiT members.
Writers In Trees 