by Rahma Mohamed
We all constantly go through tough times in our lives, especially times of grief. The most common form is grieving the death of a loved one, but it also includes any kind of loss, like a major life change, loss of identity, or even losing trust in someone who betrays you. Whatever you are grieving, there is one thing you will have to deal with: processing that someone or something that was an integral part of your life is no longer any part of it.
Grief is not a linear path. It’s akin to a broken carousel that rotates erratically in either direction, and sometimes even completely stops.
A lot of artists heal through art, their own or others’, and writers are no different. Writing, in general, is a powerful healing tool; there is a reason therapists recommend journaling. Personal journals usually house people’s deepest, most honest thoughts, and writers have the ability to take journaling even further.
With all of that said, that doesn’t work for everyone. You may need to give yourself time and heal in other ways before you can safely get any words on the page. Sometimes, the memories of the loss are too fresh and triggering, especially if that loss was sudden and didn’t afford you any closure. You don’t want to force yourself to write if it’s too painful. Instead, you take small, gentle steps. Focus on one day, or even one moment, at a time. Look for small comforts, and focus on self-care. If writing about your complex thoughts and feelings helps, by all means go for it. However, it is completely okay, even expected, to be unable to at first. Healing is a deeply personal journey. It neither has a timeline nor is a straight, upwards line. There will be setbacks. There will be days when you feel like you are back to square one. You are not, I promise.
Pain produces the most powerful stories as we constantly witness in the media. Feeling the pain makes us human. Sharing it with others can help them feel less alone. However, it’s important to be patient and not rush into it, no matter how noble your end goal is, it should not be at the cost of your own wellbeing. So if you need to heal first, you got it. There is no timeline for healing, and it’s not a linear process. It is also important to remember that processing the grief and healing from it happen simultaneously, and really, there is usually no finish line.
I hope reading this made you feel less alone. Please take it easy and try to not be so hard on yourself. You will feel better soon, I promise.
Rahma Mohamed graduated from the University of Toronto with an Engineering degree. Her short story, “White Night”, appeared in the first Writer in Trees anthology, Forest Floor. When she’s not stressing over her future, she can be found playing board games, exploring symphonic metal music, being curious about everything, or a combination of all three.
The views and opinions expressed in blog posts are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of all WiT members.
